@Plutonium84 (View Post)
I live you're life differently.

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The next user lost their head 1 min ago and has lost 3 pints of blood which i am now drinking

@Xorite (View Post)

 I am now a zombie.

 

The next user gets mauled but not infected, then the remains are cremated.

My death wish was to be cremated. But I got angry, rose from the dead, and hit you with a pencil sharpener.

 

The next person is under attack by banana split sundaes

I Devour the banana split sundaes and move onto the rest of your ice cream

 

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the next user cannot post.

I use proxies!

 

I summon a dark knight to use the banhammer on the next user.

@ThisMustBeHalo (View Post)
24 hour ban.

The next person is now swimming around in a sharks belly, and the shark is about to eat 8 piranhas.

The pirhanas were chewed thuroughly and the teeth survived, so I cut my way out and swam to the top.

 

The next person is lit on fire and has no access to anything that can douse the fire in any way (no stop drop and roll either)

I transform into a demon, the flames become a permanent part of my body, as they will burn for eternity, i blast you with a huge ball of cursed flame, incinerating and trapping your helpless soul within my flames.

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The next user is infected by a virus that slowly kills them from the inside by making your flesh rot.

Was hit by a large dose of regenerative energy and have become largely immortal

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the next user is in an impeneterable box in the centre of a 4 black holes, the box is held in place by the gravitational pull of all 4 black holes and the slightest movement will send you into oblivion.

I move. I get sent to oblivion. Its not that bad.

 

The next person get completly covered in paint (which will make it impossible to breathe) with no way to wash it off.