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Next user dies becouse a mutant ninja zombie robot killed he.

I run fast enough to get out of the way.

The next person is trapped in a DMND box of LAVA and cannot get out

The LAVA cools down because the DMND stayed a constant temp. of 20C.

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The next user's computer, keyboard, monitor, and mouse blow up in a 20 kiloton explosion.

I'm a vampire, so im inmortal.
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The next user's heart stops working. Yes, the next user has an heart.

I don't need blood to live, i never did.

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The next user becomes as dense as a black hole.

Time slows down around me, and my lifespan is greatly increased.

The next user is being attracted into my blackhole self.

I pull out my trusty leaf blower and just make it out.

Hall 9000 crashes the next user is stuck out in space.

Frank Poole brings me back to Earth.

The next person has IE instead of Firefox.

I am ok with that because IE works a lot beter than Firefox.

The next user spontaneously combusts.