Earlier today police took down a gang devoted to scientist trafficking. The victims, hundreds of people from students to doctorates, were sold on the black market for amounts which were in the millions or over. The band, which operated on a worldwide scale, used private universities and research funds to fish out the best minds money could buy. "They worked us 24 hours a day, it was like being tenure again!", one of the the Doctors revealed as he was escorted back to freedom, "They had us doing generic experiments on atom-sized tapeworms and quark-sized amoebas, I'll never forget the agony!". The specimens were indeed swiftly recovered by the police, within a millimiter of where they were being manipulated. Asked for the reasons for all this, the leader was adamant: "FOR SCIENCE!!"