Information
2011-06-21 00:20:29
Behind You
It all started back in 1432, approximately 42 feet from the south pole. There were 3 mutants living in Antarctica, cast out from society. My mother was one of those mutants. Anyway, her stomach exploded and I entered the world. I was a slippery newborn with 2 heads sliding across the ice like a hockey puck. I slid for months and months, occasionally hitting some rough patches and flipping around like a rolling vehicle, but once I made it back on the ice, I continued sliding. After 5 years of sliding, I came across an English dictionary buried in the ice. I pulled it out as I slid by and taught myself how to read, talk, write, and cook enchiladas. My Siamese twin brother made me angry, so I took a frozen page of the dictionary and used it to cut him off. This greatly increased my sliding speed, and it wasn't long before I made it to the ocean. I swam for centuries until I made it to Canada (about 1653) and realized Canada wasn't so great, so I swam for 2 centuries until i made it to the U.S. I didn't do much here until the civil war. The canons were too loud and interrupting my nap, so I decided to take action. I made my move, taking canon shots to the stomach until i could get close enough to grab the person operating the weapon and stuff him in the barrel, rendering it useless and silent. Once the war was over, I lived life under many different names, including Al Capone, Elvis Presley, Tupac, and Slim Shady. I always stand up when that song is playing, by the way. I always find good excuses to kill off my aliases. But enough about me, who are you?
Oh yea, you're the person who just wasted their time reading all this. :P
Oh yea, you're the person who just wasted their time reading all this. :P
Saves
33
2.9697
26
Groups
This user is not a member of any groups